these are my words

i'm not ashamed of myself. i'm not letting my past break me down. i am who i am from what i have done and what i have not done. yes, i have made many mistakes and i've treated the right people the wrong ways. but who hasn't? i'm learning and i don't want to live this life alone. i want my friends there with me, with everything. the worst days in my life are not the days when i get in fights with my best friends or when my girlfriend and i break up, it's the days i spend alone with my friends completely out of the picture. and that comes to the reason i felt like signing on to create this blog...

a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting right next to you. i remembered that the other night when i guess all the shit hit the fan. it made me think because i'd much rather have someone in the same hole trying to dig out than a friend on the outside looking down on us, while although helping us, having no idea what it feels like to be there. and deep in a hole is just a metaphor because it doesn't have to be a bad situation but a really really fun situation. and that's another thing. we learned that the higher the risk the higher the payout. the ones there with me know it's very possible for it to end up bad but just as possible for it to come out really fun and memorable. i just want everyone to be in my memories.

i'm sure i've told all of you that i miss high school the most out of all of us. i'm just trying to transition from the best 4 years in my life into college life, where it will never be the same group as it was when we were all at lunch or at cross country practice. not a single day goes by where i don't get sad inside for missing the good times, but the only therapy i have is to live my life now and create some new memories. and that's all i want, for everyone to be in my memories, the good and the bad.

it's coming to the point where i'm going to throw the towel in. recently, a very very good friend of mine always seems to count himself out of plans with the group. some excuse or something he has to do gets in the way. i want you back, because you're drifting away from me. i'm not sure about how the others feel, but i want you to be one of the ones who's right next to me as opposed to the one who's on the outside looking in or hearing the stories, but never able to relate or say "oh shit, i remember that."

to all my good friends, i would love for you to be there with me. sacrifice a bit for me because i'm always willing to sacrifice as much necessary to be there in the group. to all my true friends, thank you because we have plenty of memories to share and plenty more to make. i want my good friends to become true friends and my true friends to stay here. i don't want it any other way.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J73pBhAlFJU&feature=related